Small steps
As requested (thank you for your concern), an update.
I saw the doc on Monday. She’s referred me for CBT, which should take 4-6 weeks for them to get in touch, which considering this is the NHS, I thought it was quite swift! In the meantime, sticking with the happy pills, and go back in just under 2 weeks for a re-fill.
I am a lot brighter than I was when I saw her 2 weeks ago, which she commented on. Admittedly that day I was hyper - in the morning I’d seen the physio, busy day at work, left early for the doc, had my hair cut then dashed off to a church meeting (first one in a while and it was actually OK). I seem to be feeling more on top of things just by saying I have a problem and I can’t cope - a lot of worry has lifted (but not gone), and with (most) people reassuring me I’m not mad, I don’t feel quite so crazy.
I also have new glasses (which I need to get adjusted on my wonky ears) and have had all my hair chopped off. About 7 inches of it!
The amused face is due to my hyperactive housemate taking the photo.
I went to look at a flat last night. It was tiny - saving £100 a month is not THAT important to me. Coping a bit better in the house now, so will just keep my eye out and see if anything comes up.
Job is OK, if a little busy. I’m putting in coping strategies, and when things get really bad (and I had a moment of rising panic last week), I take a bit of time out, either food or a walk outside. Seem to have resisted the urge for cigarettes, which is good, as they only make me feel horrible after.
The wrist is healing, and I’m picking it less. Or causing less damage when I pick.
I’m also trying to find things to do to keep me busy. I’m investgating joining St John Ambulance. This weekend I’m marshalling at a charity walk.
I’m planning to start pilates next week, at the advice of both my physio and my podiatrist. Also have to spend at least an hour each day stretching and doing exercises, and the podiatrist reckons CBT would be good for pain management too.
I’m even thinking about a holiday. I mutter back in Jan/Feb about my ideal trip to Istanbul by train. I’ve found something similar. Though this could end up being an expensive trip, but 22 days exploring (very briefly) Eastern Europe and Istanbul… I’m planning, if I’m up for it, to go and talk to them about it, with a long list of questions, as they’re based withing walking distance from me. Though still rather nervous about something like that. Would still rather go with a friend. The Bank of Dad is, however, prepared to loan me some dosh to pay towards it, if I want to go, though my Mother has been sending me all the bad reviews of the company she can find on the internet. So I’ll be ‘properly informed’. Born pessimist, my mother. Which explains a lot about me!
I’m tired and need to go get some food and then head for bed. Have not been reading many blogs as have been trying to get earlier nights, and have been reading various books. Am in the middle of Perseolis, which I am enjoying. Hope to catch up properly on blogs over the weekend, but am managing to resist the need to ensure Bloglines doesn’t have any outstanding posts on it, which has been known to stress me. As does a full inbox at work (I have folders to hide emails in and try to keep the essentials and outstanding ones in my inbox - I have about 30 at the moment and am trying to contain the panic everytime I look at it!)
I think that sums it up.








