Just one step at a time

Although I’ve never finished The Purpose Driven Life, I get the daily devotional emails. Yesterday’s was this:

Is Your Faith In Your Fear?
by Jon Walker “But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” (Matthew 14:27, NIV)

Across the breadth of the Bible, God consistently sends the message, “Do not be afraid, for I am with you.”

The Bible reveals that God knows we tend toward fear, particularly as we respond to uncertainty and change. Yet the Bible also reveals that God is the only unchanging certainty in this world – or out of it.

Yet, is it possible we have more faith in our fear than we do in God?

No matter how complex life becomes, it still comes down to this basic choice: Will we place our confidence in the All-Powerful Supreme Being and Sole Authority of the Universe, or will we place greater confidence in our fears?

Although the choice is black-or-white basic, God knows it’s not simple. It involves a challenging stretch, and that’s why God continually reminds us, “Fear not, for I am with you

God is clear that our abilities, our resources – even a belief in the myth of luck – will not be what strengthens us for the journey. (Philippians 4:13) We fear we can’t do the things God calls us to do, and we fear that God will not protect us or provide for us. We choose this fear, embracing the unholy lie that our circumstances are bigger than the One True God.

Our faith in God gets placed on the altar of our own perceptions when we should be placing our perceptions on the altar of unflinching faith.

If you’re like me, you often fear what’s behind the curtain of God’s call, and God – frustratingly – won’t let me peek behind the curtain, and so:

Our fear shouts – “Pay no attention to the God behind the curtain; he’s just another wizard from Oz, using smoke and mirrors to give you the illusion of power and grace.”
Our God whispers – In that still, small voice, he calls us to develop confidence in him; he calls us to abandon the confidence we have in what we see and the confidence we have in our fears. God keeps the curtain of our future drawn so we will learn to live by faith and not by sight, so we will become certain of what we hope for and become sure of God, even when we cannot see how he’s working in our current circumstances. (Hebrews 11:1)

What does this mean?

• Ask God to replace your fear with faith – Eliminating your fear involves more than working up your courage. This is a spiritual battle that requires you to develop faith. But first you need to make a choice – Will you fear, or will you “faith?” Faith means you believe the truth – Your behavior and decisions are most often rooted in what you believe. When you experience fear, ask yourself, “What does this fear say about what I believe in this circumstance?” What fears are you experiencing today? What do they say about the beliefs you currently embrace? Ask God to pull these false beliefs and fears out by the root.
• Get caught in an act of faith – One day, a woman who had hemorrhaged for 12 years slipped up behind Jesus and touched his robe, believing he could heal her. “Jesus turned –caught her at it. Then he reassured her: ‘Courage, daughter. You took a risk of faith, and now you’re well.’” (Matthew 9:22, MSG) God is for you, and he encourages you to be caught in the act of faith. When you act in faith, you proclaim your belief in God; you acknowledge he exists and that God cares about you.
• Let a friend tell you about your fears — Ask a friend if he or she sees a part of your life where you show more fear than faith – and then, together, pray for God to help your unbelief. (Mark 9:24)

I wondered what this meant. I’ve been thinking a lot about fear since 2008 started. Because I’ve been pushing at those doors.

One of the doors I’m pushing at is to go back to India, towards the end of this year, for 6 - 12 months. And that is terrifying! Terrifying that if I actually put myself out there, push those doors, God might actually let one of them open. That I might actually be doing this thing I feel He is asking me to, at least, explore.

And 2-3 hours after this email arrived, there came one from the guy I know in Hyderabad, who arranged the conferences we spoke at in 2006. He’d heard of a doctor working in Mumbai with people who have HIV/AIDS and also with people who’ve been trafficked. Which is the area I am interested in volunteering my time and my skills in.

And then I knew why that email arrived that morning.

“We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror at its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanence on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity - in freedom in the sense that dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in the same pattern. The only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping even. Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what was in nostalgia, nor forward to what it might be in dread or anticipation, but living in the present relationship and accepting as it is now.”

Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Gift from the Sea

“Then David took his shepherd’s staff, selected five smooth stones from the brook, and put them in the pocket of his shepherd’s pack, and with his sling in his hand approached Goliath.”
1 Samuel 17:40 (The Message)

David comes across as fearless. Almost cocky and arrogant. But with an arrogance based on his faith in God.

“Come on,” said Goliath. “I’ll make roadkill of you for the buzzards. I’ll turn you into a tasty morsel for the field mice.”David answered, “You come at me with sword and spear and battle-ax. I come at you in the name of God-of-the-Angel-Armies, the God of Israel’s troops, whom you curse and mock. This very day God is handing you over to me. I’m about to kill you, cut off your head, and serve up your body and the bodies of your Philistine buddies to the crows and coyotes. The whole earth will know that there’s an extraordinary God in Israel. And everyone gathered here will learn that God doesn’t save by means of sword or spear. The battle belongs to God—he’s handing you to us on a platter!” (vs. 44-47)

I’ve been thinking a lot about fear lately. Fear can paralyse us. Literally, but spiritually, emotionally, relationally. It can stop us moving.

• My fear of being alone stops me from doing things that might satisfy me WITHOUT a partner.
• My fear of being not good enough keeps me from striving for more in my job. Or striving for another job.
• My fear stops me from travelling on my own, experiencing new things.
• My fear of rejection stops me telling people how I really feel.

I’m leading a meditate worship session this weekend. Thinking about fear. Thinking about the fact that we have God Almighty behind us.

David leant down and selected 5 smooth stones. And one of those stones killed dead the fear that had been terrorising Israelites. Just one. Because David had faith in God.

Was he scared? We don’t know. But fear is not bad. Fear stops us being reckless. But we have to move despite our fear. Because “God did not give us a spirit that makes us afraid but a spirit of power and love and self-control.” (2 Timothy 1:7) God wants us to step out of the boat, onto the water. But when He calls. Not because we think we can.

I’m looking at the possibility of going to work in India later this year, for a few months. If it’s the right thing. I shall submit my application over the weekend.

Now THAT’S scary!

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles, Marianne Williamson