Money, money… Oh! No money
OK, this might seem a bit premature, but the fella & I are planning to get married. We’ve not had a ‘moment’ (as a friend called it) when he officially asks, but we’re certain. We’ll move in together July or August. The earliest we could get married is November.
Am a little disheartened. It’s all so expensive! What little savings I have will go on a flat deposit – my current place doesn’t have one. He’s paying off debts to the Bank of Mum & Dad (been there!). Dresses are extortionate! Thought I’d found the perfect one through eBay but it was too tight around the bust. At £150 it was budget-friendly. The cheapest I saw in a ‘real’ shop was £350. Really nice ones weren’t priced. If you have to ask you can’t afford it.
Really I’d like to have a big party. He likes the idea too. But so many expectations. Despite my Mum saying they’d have none, they do. Already I’m stressed about it & he’s not even asked yet!
Soon though 
)
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calia77 on 105 days and counting Free to think, free … on 105 days and counting dd on Money, money… Oh! No… melodydemone on Five truths about fear calia77 on 105 days and counting
Have you tried the Oxfam bridal place?
I found when we got married (and we decided quite soon too!!) that you have to get your head straight that you don’t NEED all the things magazines and films tellyou. My brother drove us in his car – saving us at least £500, we had a friend who made a cake as our present and her husband took pictures, wemade our own invitations, our own table decorations, table favours and balloon holders, thank you cards etc. and lots of fun doing that with each other and with friends. Strip back ALL of the stuff you think you need and start from the very basics!
Where did you have the after-church do? What did you do? This is our main problem at the moment. Would like to have an early afternoon service then food & fun in the church after (if the space). Trying to work out how to do that tho! Ho hum. Watch this space!
About bloody time!
Good luck to you and him…
Another thing, since the wife’s already left some advice, is if either you or him have something cookie [This was me with a desire for a crushed red velvet coat... ] that you want to go with – then do so and that’ll give you a handle on the how the rest of the stuff might look [for example the bridesmaids 'apparently' then had to have red dresses...]
The wedding day is one of the big tribal occasions [unless you do something like elope...] so give yourself a break at the start and figure out how much you can put up with from others and how much you cannot… and then pull yourselves slightly further down the line of what you want to do – in the end if folk see that you’ve ticked the major boxes and have enjoyed your day they’ll be happy for you or they’ll come round in the end…. probably.
Enjoy the ride and do the ‘looking back test’ – if you think looking back on your day you wished you hadn’t done x, y or z then think very hard about keeping them. On the other hand if there’s something you think if you don’t do you’ll be disappointed think before you leave it out.
Just remember a dress is a dress and a car is a car and at the end of the day you’ll be Mrs!!!
I don’t know if you remember Morph? Small plasticine man? Can be made in diferent colours around a wire frame and then nailed [literally for balance not to stop him running off...] into a board… and why do this? For something that looks kookie and also can hang on to your baloons… One in a corner or something… If you have youth they love ‘em and want to do things with them which makes the mood rather informal [which can be a good thing]…
I suppose if you want/can get a church hall then think about what craftiness you have either between you or if you have reliable friends who are creative [You do not want a panic about the 'table favours' [or whatever] the day before…] figure out what you like and what you can do.
A good ceilidh band with a caller will break the ice and get folk moving but if you’ve fed everybody up to the gunnels… you’ll have somebody feeling rather ill if not throwing up… So it is very difficult to give advice because you have to have your own day and not a day we think would be good if you were us…
I’ve found a company that delivers freshly roasted pig for not too much money. & does nice veggie options too. If we can get the church to allow it we could have an informal post-wedding celebration for a reasonable price.
Sunday we’re discussing all this with the vicar & his wife who’re good friends of mine.
Hi… I just found you via Twitter…. I got married on a small budget. We wrote a list of things in these categories:
~ ‘we have to have/do this’
~ ‘we don’t care about this’
~ ‘we’re definitely not doing this’
And then we stuck to our guns even when it was really difficult and people were coming at us from all sides- mainly the mums!
My biggest money saving tips:
Buy a second hand dress: Try Frock Me! (a vintage fashion market happens in London and Brighton about 3 times a year- google it) if you like vintage style… or charity shops… or preloved.com. I got my dress and veil for £150 which is pretty incredible and the money went to my local hospice- bonus!!
Only feed your guests once: you save so much money by doing what you’ve said- having the ceremony then feeding them lunch of some kind. Hog roast is good value for money or if your family are up for it- ‘bring a dish’ can be really successful! I’ve seen people set up blogs with recipes and ideas and asked their guests to confirm what they’re bringing then they bulk it out with salads/breads etc
Make stuff yourself: I made all the invites/flowers/decorations/desserts etc etc and it saved us a fortune.
And just remember- it is only one day. Albeit a very important day…. If you can afford a photographer, get a photographer because they’re the only thing you get to keep from the day!!!! well, and your husband! Goood luck. If you’re nosey like me there are wedding photos on my blog! we got married at 12 and then everyone walked about 5 minutes down the road to lunch where we had sausage and mash and then a dessert buffet and photos on the beach… mmmmm xx
Got married at twelve?!? A bit early in the day?
But yes, on the whole good advice – if you have a friend who likes playing with his camera and is actually quite good at it then they tend to be more than willing to help out… or her…. not to get sexist on a day when everyone is conforming to what are now strange ideas of dress…
long time!